I remember that night like it was yesterday. I can still feel the knot in my stomach while curled under a blanket. The pounding headache that can only be satiated with good Chinese food. The realization that I had just booked a trip for an experience I didn't know I could afford.
What was I thinking?
That's the thing. I wasn't thinking, I was knowing. Knowing that I would be on that plane, that this had to work. That there was no other option, but for this to work. I had to get to Belize.
After hours of researching and writing, I almost gave up. When I walked through my kitchen door, the oven clock read 5:55. I sighed and I knew.
Keep going. Try again.
I cracked open my computer and started hunting for plane tickets. Again, plane tickets that I couldn't afford for an experience I certainly couldn't afford on my own. A plane ticket that had to match the exact arrival windows and departure times of other travelers because I insisted on finding my plane ticket myself. Sorry, Rabbi Howard, but I knew I could be savvier than you!
Suddenly, there it was...a ticket listed at $555.
That's mine. I clicked through and there was a weird glitch in the system. Well, that glitch brought the price down to $379. You can't make it up.
Click, click, purchase, confirm.
Silence.
It was done. At least I knew I was going. Whether or not I'd get the rest of the money was tomorrow's problem. I'm happy to report that not only did I make it to Belize, I made it to Belize...fully funded.
Little did I know that this Belize trip would be both the end and beginning of life as I knew it. And the reason why this story is at the beginning of our journey, is because without Belize, there never would've been a school garden.
So without my leap of faith, without my trusting of my knowing...my work the past year wouldn't exist, I wouldn't be writing to you. This is why I'm confident in the divine timing of the universe. It's those tiny moments of feeling like you want to give up, listening and trusting, that brought me here. Those are the moments that will bring me there…wherever there even is.
So let's get started. It’s never too early to start planting seeds for change!
And more on Belize later...
This was taken the week I found out I was selected for my fellowship. I can still feel the relief and bliss. Sometimes things work out even better than you planned.
🪴written September 2023